Adam Carolla lays down the law on modern parenthood

LAST WILL & TESTAMENT OF Adam Carolla

I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.)

Article I

I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool ?graduation? and PTA meeting.

Article II

To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading ?Get a job. I'm dead,? and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our house, cars, dog, and kids.

Article III